BANGALORE, MARCH 1: At a time when most are vying to find a plush job abroad, an management graduate refused to accept the one crore job offer he got from a US based company. This left the company and industry analysts too stunned to react.
“We were willing to bear all relocation costs, and also provide free company accommodation for one year,” said Charles, the HR head of the US consulting firm, lamenting that, “Akash just refused everything we offered without even a blink”.
Is this the face of the new India? Are students finally spurning foreign opportunities to work and toil for their own country? Is this all about making it a stronger and vibrant India?
Even as business analysts and industry experts were pitted in a determined battle of wits to understand this phenomenon, sources in the main opposition party of India blamed the budget: “There is nothing surprising about this decision (like the budget). This has everything to with the Azim Premji Surcharge that was announced by the UPA in the budget.”
Informed sources close to Akash were quick to dismiss this claim as preposterous. “If he takes up the offer he will soon be an NRI, and so will not have to worry about paying the surcharge or any taxes. The opposition is totally lost on this matter as they are with everything else,” said Amarnath, who introduced himself as being one of Akash’s best buddies.
It took your favourite news media much effort to catch Akash in person and thus get to the root of the problem. “No! No! No! All these things have nothing to do with my decision. My passport expired a week back you know, and that made my decision really simple” he clarified.
“It took me two days, two days of focused and sustained effort to completed my online application for a new passport. And 37 days since, I am still trying to seek an appointment using their online appointment tool,” says Akash who was advised last week by his doctor to stop his efforts in the interests of sanity. “I began getting nightmares about applying for an passport appointment,” he confides.
“No foreign job could really compensate the pain and torture I have to go through to reapply for a passport,” confessed Akash, adding that he will spend the rest of his life happily in India, especially since he had figured an optimum way to use the IRCTC website to book railway tickets.
Note: This is a parody news report, written in jest, with little or no semblance of truth.